By Trevor Johnson
We're all shy at times. It's when our shyness starts becoming a way of life and dictating what we can and can't do that it's definitely time to do something about it. But if you seem to be a naturally shy person, what can you do to help with getting over your shyness? Try some of these tips and see how you can become more extrovert, even if you're currently as timid as a mouse.
1. Have a list of conversation topics
OK, you've been there, done that, got the T-shirt with the weather. So what else can you have up your sleeve for when the conversation inevitably runs dry?
Sport is a good topic if you're interested in a particular one and actually follow it. Otherwise the other person will drive you up the wall with anecdote after anecdote. So use this one sparingly.
Check the news. Something is always being reported. Browse one of the major news sites - or just Google News - to see what's happening. Read up on a couple of topics so that you have more than a passing knowledge of them.
Have a few evergreen topics that you can talk about at the drop of a hat. Ideally nothing to geeky!
2. Admit your shyness
Yes. Warn people that you're shy "until people get to know me" so that they cut you some slack and don't expect you to start off being the life and soul of the party.
That doesn't give you the excuse to just migrate to the kitchen and clutch a drink in one hand and a work surface in the other. Put some effort in - you never know, you might even start to enjoy yourself once you get in the swing of chatting to real people rather than virtual ones.
3. Use Dutch Courage
If you liven up and come out of your shell after a drink or two, maybe that's worth doing.
Just be careful that you don't go too far and end up making a fool of yourself. There's a fine line between being an extrovert that people are happy to share the room with and an extrovert who people would prefer to run a mile from rather than suffer their company.
If you're a bit like Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to alcohol, it could be worth staying sober and slightly timid.
4. Just be yourself
This is the opposite to the normal "fake it until you make it" suggestion. Which, let's face it, is probably a step too far anyway.
Being yourself lets you concentrate on the positive side of you. Rather than be an actor and try to be something you're not.
It's hard enough at times to be you without coming over all shy let alone having to remember what it is exactly that you're supposed to be faking and wondering deep down how you'll actually know how you've made it.
5. Lean on your friends
Use them as practice ground for becoming more extrovert. Not all the time, otherwise they'll get fed up. But if you enlist the help of your friends to help overcome your shyness, you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much they're prepared to help once you actually admit that you're shy. A bit like your mother, they'll have known this as long they've known you and the fact that you've admitted that you used to be shy will be a plus point in your favor.
We're all shy at times. It's when our shyness starts becoming a way of life and dictating what we can and can't do that it's definitely time to do something about it. But if you seem to be a naturally shy person, what can you do to help with getting over your shyness? Try some of these tips and see how you can become more extrovert, even if you're currently as timid as a mouse.
1. Have a list of conversation topics
OK, you've been there, done that, got the T-shirt with the weather. So what else can you have up your sleeve for when the conversation inevitably runs dry?
Sport is a good topic if you're interested in a particular one and actually follow it. Otherwise the other person will drive you up the wall with anecdote after anecdote. So use this one sparingly.
Check the news. Something is always being reported. Browse one of the major news sites - or just Google News - to see what's happening. Read up on a couple of topics so that you have more than a passing knowledge of them.
Have a few evergreen topics that you can talk about at the drop of a hat. Ideally nothing to geeky!
2. Admit your shyness
Yes. Warn people that you're shy "until people get to know me" so that they cut you some slack and don't expect you to start off being the life and soul of the party.
That doesn't give you the excuse to just migrate to the kitchen and clutch a drink in one hand and a work surface in the other. Put some effort in - you never know, you might even start to enjoy yourself once you get in the swing of chatting to real people rather than virtual ones.
3. Use Dutch Courage
If you liven up and come out of your shell after a drink or two, maybe that's worth doing.
Just be careful that you don't go too far and end up making a fool of yourself. There's a fine line between being an extrovert that people are happy to share the room with and an extrovert who people would prefer to run a mile from rather than suffer their company.
If you're a bit like Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to alcohol, it could be worth staying sober and slightly timid.
4. Just be yourself
This is the opposite to the normal "fake it until you make it" suggestion. Which, let's face it, is probably a step too far anyway.
Being yourself lets you concentrate on the positive side of you. Rather than be an actor and try to be something you're not.
It's hard enough at times to be you without coming over all shy let alone having to remember what it is exactly that you're supposed to be faking and wondering deep down how you'll actually know how you've made it.
5. Lean on your friends
Use them as practice ground for becoming more extrovert. Not all the time, otherwise they'll get fed up. But if you enlist the help of your friends to help overcome your shyness, you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much they're prepared to help once you actually admit that you're shy. A bit like your mother, they'll have known this as long they've known you and the fact that you've admitted that you used to be shy will be a plus point in your favor.
Get more help with getting over your shyness and take a look at this discrete hypnosis to overcome shyness.
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