Real Vampires


 Vampires are all the rage now. Magazines, books, movies... all are touting something or other vampirish.
Most of us in Western Washington are aware that the town of Forks has been transformed from a logging town into a vampire-y tourist mecca as a result of the filming of recent vampire movies in that locale. Souvenir shops with all things of the world of vampires are sprouting up on the main (and only) street in town Forks and vampire tours are now available. Menus in restaurants sport vampirish names for their entrees. Tourists line up at the entrance to Forks, waiting to have their picture taken in front of the "Welcome to Forks" sign.
I recently had the diabolical idea of opening up a shop in Forks to sell items that protect one from vampires, such as...
  • Strings of garlic to wear around one's neck
  • Wooden stakes to pound through a vampire's heart. Hammer included, of course.
  • Mirrors to detect which of your friends are truly vampires (they have no reflection in a mirror, you know).
Although my idea was based on humor, protecting oneself from vampires is not a joke. Vampires are indeed real.
The vampires I'm referring to aren't the blood-sucking, red-eyed monsters with long, sharp fangs depicted in movies and novels. The type of vampire I'm talking about is just as real and harmful as the fictional one. This vampire will drain you of your life force so slyly that you may not even be aware of it as it happens.
They're Energy Vampires.
How to Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires
The first and most important step to protect yourself from an Energy Vampire sucking you dry of all your energy is awareness: you must first recognize them..Although they have no visible outward characteristics for you to easily identify them, like long fangs or being surrounded by a flock of bats, you can easily recognize them by their behaviors.
  • Chronic complainers: They can drain you of your energy just by being near you. These people don't want to change a thing in their life. They just want you to listen to their sad stories... over and over and over. They leave you feeling depressed, dumped-on, and frustrated because no matter what you say or do, they continue in their self-defeating behaviors... and then return to you so you can listen as they whine on about how life ain't fair and everyone's working against them.
  • People-users and manipulators: These people are so adept at getting other people to take responsibility for them and their actions that their victims typically don't realize they're being sucked dry of energy until they're dragged down to the ground, gasping for breath. If you find yourself repeatedly doing work that's the responsibility of someone else or constantly "loaning" someone money or your car, you're being sucked dry by an Energy Vampire.
  • Drama Kings and Queens, crazy-makers, and others of that ilk: This type of Energy Vampire enlarges the reality of current events in their life until the event becomes a major trauma or catastrophe, thus creating small disturbances of energy. As they share with you their story and the accompanying emotions, which have been blown into monster-size proportions, the energy of your emotional reaction fuels the energy disturbance, growing it larger and more intense. When these Energy Vampires have filled themselves up on the energy of your emotions, they happily go away, leaving you drained and exhausted.
It's important to note that most people aren't Energy Vampires all the time. Like the blood-sucking vampires of fiction, Energy Vampires typically only appear on occasion. Moreover, anyone - even you - can be an Energy Vampire if the circumstances are just right.
How can you protect yourself from an Energy Vampire... or from becoming one?
Once you've identified the person and/or behavior you've got the upper hand. Now all you need do is to activate the almost magical power of your personal boundary protection.
There are four steps to using a personal boundary:
1. Become aware of the boundary violation. Recognizing the behaviors of Energy Vampires will aid you greatly to easily identify them so you can take further steps to protect yourself from their energy-sucking habits.
2. Inform the violator of your boundary. Believe it or not, most Energy Vampires don't actually realize that their behavior is detrimental to others. The truth is, most people think that everyone thinks the way they do. Be prepared for surprise when you inform your Energy Vampire that their behavior is not acceptable to you.
3. Ask for compliance. The manner in which you deliver your boundary to a violator has great impact on how it's received and, thus, the chances of its success. Having the language beforehand will make you more comfortable and confident when you're stating your boundary. Because most Energy Vampire behavior is habitual, you have the advantage of being able to prepare your boundary language in advance. Practice saying it until you can state your boundary calmly, without being angry, defensive, or nervous. You'll get better results.
4. Thank them for their compliance. You might think that thanking an Energy Vampire for their compliance isn't very important, yet it's a very vital part that contributes to the successful results of your boundary enforcement. Our brains are programmed to assume that when we hear "Thank you", it's as an acknowledgement of an act that's already happened. You say "Thank you" for a gift or a compliment after you've received it. When you say "Thank you" in advance of getting compliance to your boundary, you set up the thought in the other person's mind that it's already a done deal. This adds greatly to the chances of you actually getting compliance.
Finally, after you've delivered your personal boundary to your Energy Vampire, the following is extremely important to remember:
  • Do not justify, rationalize, or apologize for your boundary.
  • Do not open it up to debate or negotiation.
  • Do not fill in any stunned silences with an explanation.
Any of these actions will diffuse the power of your boundary and render it worthless. Simply state your boundary, ask for compliance, thank the person, and move on.
People who violate your boundaries drain your energy with their behavior. When you uphold your personal boundaries, these people will either stop their behavior or they'll go away. Energy Vampires no longer want to be in your presence when you won't allow them to play their energy-sucking games.
Consequently, as you practice upholding your personal boundaries you'll have more energy.
Kathy Wilson helps people get their life unstuck using a multi-faceted approach. She and her clients utilize life coaching, spiritual consulting, NLP, vibrational healing, and teaching... whatever is in her client's highest and best interests. She's a Certified Professional Coach, spiritual teacher, Reiki master, vibrational healer, and author of An Inner Journey: Living Your Life Purpose. For information about her products, services, and classes, visit her website:
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